Breaking up is hard to do…

During this week, I had a chance to think about all the different times that I left a group and which ones were hard and which ones were easy. The first group I thought about was my senior year of high school. This time in my life was hard not only because I had to say goodbye to great friends after graduation since we were all going to different colleges, military and jobs, but also because I had to say goodbye to my grandfather who passed away three days after I graduated. Both were hard goodbyes. For my friends we had parties to say goodbye and we kept in touch for awhile. For my grandfather, we had a chance to say our goodbyes to him before cancer over took him. Between those two goodbyes I would have to say losing my grandfather was the hardest because of our strong bond, but my friends helped me through it.

Next came the goodbyes after college, those goodbyes were different and a bit easier because I hadn’t really gotten too close to anyone at college. I majored in Early Childhood Education and also in Business Administration. I had friends in both majors but not anyone really close. 

The most recent goodbyes I think have been the hardest ones for me so far. The first one was losing my grandmother the day after I started as a home visitor. We knew that she wasn’t doing well and we had gotten to see her two months before she passed. We all said goodbyes to her but really didn’t want to believe it was the end. I will never forget when I was told. My mother had flown to Florida to help out my aunt with my grandmother. My grandmother had passed away while my mother was flying. My aunt didn’t tell my mom until she got to Florida. My mother didn’t call me until she knew that my work day was done. Every time I walk the steps up to the office I hesitate at the same spot I was at when she told me. It is still hard for me because she was a huge part of my life. She helped me get through losing my grandfather (her husband) after high school. My new co-workers were very supportive of me and helped me get through that devastating loss. I feel that is one reason I feel so connected with the home visitors at that office. We all became close and great friends. We are always there for each other whether it is professionally or personally. 

Which I feel transitioning from home visitor to program supervisor of the new program was very hard for me. I felt like I was abandoning my friends. They threw a little party for the three of us that were leaving/transitioning to the new program. They took us out to lunch and got us little gifts so that we would remember them. I think this was a hard goodbye even though we still see everyone and still talk to each other because we had that trust and open communication. We all worked together towards the same common goal. We all had the best interest of young children and their families in mind. We all still do have that same interest and common goal. It is just they think of me more as a person higher than them because I’m a supervisor now. I’m not their supervisor but they treat me differently. I understand why they do and I think I even act a little different. I have more responsibilities now so I have to watch what I say or do in front of them. 

I’m not sure how adjourning this group of colleagues will go. I hope that I will be able to keep in touch with some after we have completed this wonderful journey we are on. It would be great to keep in touch to see how everyone grows professionally and to see how earning this master’s degree has affective their careers. 

I think adjourning is an essential stage of teamwork because even though it might be nice to stay with people who work well together everything has to come to an end at some time. If you stay with the same group things would stop being effective. It is like working as a home visitor for Early Head Start. If you have a family for more than three years, you stop being effective. You start getting too comfortable with the family and the family gets too comfortable with you. That is why in our program if a family keeps having babies and they continue to be in the program we switch their home visitor. This seems to keep the families from getting bored or uninterested in the program because even though we follow a curriculum each home visitor approaches things differently.