The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

What memory do you have of an incident when you experienced bias, prejudice, and/or oppression, or witnessed someone else as the target of bias, prejudice, and/or oppression? Keep in mind that one can encounter such incidents in real contexts, including online environments, as well as in fictional ones, such as movies, books, television shows, and the like. In what way(s) did the specific bias, prejudice and/or oppression in that incident diminish equity? What feelings did this incident bring up for you? What and/or who would have to change in order to turn this incident into an opportunity for greater equity?

• The memory that comes to mind is something that has happened very recent. I am a member of my church’s covenant council. During one of last meetings the issue of gays and lesbians came up. Most of the council is made up of older adults who are set in the old ways. I respect their knowledge and experience but sometimes when certain issues arise we don’t see eye to eye and this was one instance. The issue was brought up about letting gays and/or lesbians become ministers in the churches. Some have very strong opinions about this and thought that they should not be allowed to become ministers or pastors. They didn’t have a problem with them joining churches just didn’t think they should have any leadership role in the churches. I sat there for a while and was shocked with what I was hearing, I have to be honest I didn’t say anything during that meeting. I am one of the youngest members of that council and wasn’t sure if they would even listen to me. I did talk to our pastor afterwards about this topic.
• I talked to him about my feelings on the topic and how if we are to have an open welcoming church we need to not judge people because of their sexual orientation. I know that it might be harder for the older members to accept, but I told him that I had been thinking about bringing a dear friend’s mother, Sandy, to church but now I wasn’t sure if I would because what was stated at the meeting. I explained that Sandy’s daughter was very open about being a lesbian and that she and her girlfriend actually went out of the state to get married. I told him that I felt ashamed that I was having second thought about bring Sandy to our church. I was afraid what some of the members would say or how they would act towards Sandy if they found out that her daughter was a lesbian. My pastor tried to assure me that no one would treat her any differently but I told him that I wasn’t so sure.
• I let him know that this was very upsetting to me. I have sat on this council for the past two years and have been a member of this church all of my life. I have always felt that the members were very accepting and loving but now I’m not so sure. I have not taken Sandy to my church yet but she and I have talked about everything. She still wants to go to my church and has told me that if anyone says anything to her she will tell them how she feels about it.
• I feel that some of the church members need to be educated and realize that someone’s sexual orientation shouldn’t determine if they can become leaders in the church. I think it is the fear of the unknown or the fear of change. We can learn a lot from everyone and learn to be accepting of differences is the first step.